Questions and answers

Get a new, unopened drink immediately. Replacing an unattended drink avoids having to guess what happened while you were away. This applies to water and soda as well as alcohol.

Source: RAINN

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Repeat your refusal once and walk toward a friend, campus staff, or an exit. A respectful person accepts your answer, so you do not need to keep explaining your choice.

Source: One Love

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Interrupt with a simple distraction like asking your friend to help you for a minute. This gives your friend an easy exit without directly confronting the person.

Source: Right To Be

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No, you do not need proof that someone is dangerous before choosing to leave. You are allowed to choose the setting that feels comfortable and stay with your group.

Source: One Love

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Yes, call 911 immediately and stay with your friend. Irregular breathing and unresponsiveness are medical emergencies that require prompt help. If your friend is unconscious but breathing, roll them onto their side while following dispatcher instructions.

Source: NIH / NIAAA

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Get a fresh replacement drink whenever your drink leaves your sight. You cannot tell if a drink is safe by looking at it, tasting it, or smelling it. Simply say, "I'm getting a fresh one," and grab a new unopened beverage without explaining or defending your choice.

Source: RAINN

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Getting a new drink removes the risk of consuming something that was altered while you were away.

Source: RAINN

From the lesson A fresh drink. A fresh start.

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You can keep your response brief and casual by simply saying, "I'm getting a fresh one."

Source: RAINN

From the lesson A fresh drink. A fresh start.

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You should politely decline the drink and go get a unopened replacement for yourself.

Source: RAINN

From the lesson A fresh drink. A fresh start.

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Tasting a drink is unsafe because you cannot reliably taste or smell substances that may have been added.

Source: RAINN

From the lesson A fresh drink. A fresh start.

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You can help a friend by offering to get them a fresh, unopened drink so they do not have to guess if theirs is safe.

Source: RAINN

From the lesson A fresh drink. A fresh start.

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Replacing a drink that was left unattended lowers your risk of consuming an unsafe substance because watching your drink is a practical safety measure.

Source: RAINN

From the lesson A fresh drink. A fresh start.

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You can simply say, "I'm getting a fresh one," and then move on with your night without feeling the need to explain or justify your choice.

Source: RAINN

From the lesson A fresh drink. A fresh start.

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You can repeat your boundary once and change the subject, as you do not need to defend your choice or win an argument just to stay safe.

Source: RAINN

From the lesson A fresh drink. A fresh start.

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You should not drink an unattended beverage to avoid social tension because protecting your personal safety is more important than avoiding a temporary moment of awkwardness.

Source: RAINN

From the lesson A fresh drink. A fresh start.

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Refusing a drink directly without making up an excuse keeps you in control of your choice and prevents others from trying to negotiate with you.

Source: RAINN

From the lesson Drink pressure

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You can politely decline a drink by using a straightforward phrase like, "No thanks, I am getting a fresh one."

Source: RAINN

From the lesson Drink pressure

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You should replace any drink that was left unattended, including plain water or soda, rather than tasting it to see if it is safe.

Source: RAINN

From the lesson Drink pressure

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You should never taste an unattended drink to test its safety because you cannot reliably taste, see, or smell many substances used to tamper with drinks.

Source: RAINN

From the lesson Drink pressure

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You can support a friend by helping them pour out their old drink and getting them a fresh, safe beverage right away.

Source: RAINN

From the lesson Drink pressure

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Repeat your refusal briefly and walk directly toward a friend, staff member, or an exit.

Sources: Right To Be, RAINN

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Repeating your refusal and changing your location helps because it clearly restates your decision while physically removing you from persistent pressure.

Source: One Love

From the lesson No is a complete answer.

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You can say a clear, short phrase such as "No. I'm done. I'm leaving." to state your decision without needing to justify it.

Source: One Love

From the lesson No is a complete answer.

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You can stop explaining yourself and immediately walk toward a friend, campus staff, or an exit for safety and support.

Source: One Love

From the lesson No is a complete answer.

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You should not accept a drink just to appease someone because you never have to consume anything simply to manage another person's reaction.

Source: One Love

From the lesson No is a complete answer.

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You can step in to offer them an easy exit by walking over and inviting them to move to another spot with you.

Source: One Love

From the lesson No is a complete answer.

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Moving toward friends protects your boundaries by ending a pressured interaction instead of treating your clear refusal like a debate.

Source: One Love

From the lesson No is a complete answer.

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You can state your refusal firmly and walk away by saying, "No. I’m done. I’m leaving."

Source: One Love

From the lesson No is a complete answer.

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If someone physically blocks you or creates an immediate emergency, call 911 or get the attention of staff and nearby people right away.

Source: One Love

From the lesson No is a complete answer.

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Staying behind forces you to manage another person's disappointment at the expense of your own safety and boundaries.

Source: One Love

From the lesson No is a complete answer.

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You can help a friend by stepping in to invite them away from the situation so they do not have to handle the pressure alone.

Source: One Love

From the lesson No is a complete answer.

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Moving toward staff or a group helps because it puts you around others who can intervene or support you, reducing your isolation.

Source: Right To Be

From the lesson Unwanted attention

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You can get someone's support immediately by walking up to them or event staff and saying, "Please stay with me. I need help."

Source: Right To Be

From the lesson Unwanted attention

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If setting a direct boundary does not work or feels unsafe, immediately move toward event staff or a group of people to ask for help.

Source: Right To Be

From the lesson Unwanted attention

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Staying put and hoping someone leaves is not recommended because it keeps you isolated with the person ignoring your space, whereas seeking out staff or nearby people brings immediate support.

Source: Right To Be

From the lesson Unwanted attention

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You can leave the party by telling a trusted friend you are heading out and arranging your own safe ride home. You do not need a reason or proof of danger to choose to go home. You can simply say, "I am heading out. Can you help me get home?" You may also book a ride through a trusted ride-share app or ask campus security for a safe escort.

Sources: RAINN, University of Pennsylvania

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Staying with your group helps keep you in a comfortable environment where you already feel safe and supported. You are never obligated to accept an invitation to go somewhere private just to be polite or because someone seems popular. Remaining in a public space with people you trust keeps you in control of your surroundings and your boundaries.

Source: RAINN

From the lesson You’re allowed to leave.

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You can firmly and clearly say, "I am staying with my friends." You do not need to make up an elaborate excuse, apologize, or justify your decision to stay where you are. A direct answer clearly communicates your boundary so you can return your attention to your group.

Source: RAINN

From the lesson You’re allowed to leave.

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If someone continues to press you after you decline, physically step back toward your friends and repeat your boundary or walk away entirely. You do not need proof that someone is dangerous to justify leaving a conversation that makes you uncomfortable. Rejoining your friends or finding a trusted host gives you extra support to diffuse persistent pressure.

Source: RAINN

From the lesson You’re allowed to leave.

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You should not go upstairs based on social status because popularity does not guarantee that someone will respect your personal boundaries. Trusting someone simply because they are well-known can cause you to ignore your own discomfort or safety preferences. Deciding where to go should always depend on your own comfort level, not the other person's reputation.

Source: RAINN

From the lesson You’re allowed to leave.

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You can support a friend by validating their feelings and helping them move to a safer, more comfortable spot immediately. Listen without judgment and remind them that they did nothing wrong by setting a boundary or wanting to leave a pressure-filled situation. Offer to stay by their side or help them leave the party safely if they want to go home.

Source: RAINN

From the lesson You’re allowed to leave.

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You can state your boundary clearly and ask for assistance by saying, "I am heading out. Can you help me get home?" Being direct about your choice to leave makes your intention clear to others while allowing a trusted friend to help you arrange a safe ride or watch you get to your vehicle securely.

Source: RAINN

From the lesson You’re allowed to leave.

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You should avoid accepting a ride from the first person who offers if you do not know them well or if you suspect they are impaired. Relying on an unknown or unsafe driver just to leave quickly puts your safety at risk, so it is better to pause and secure a verified, trusted transport option.

Source: RAINN

From the lesson You’re allowed to leave.

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You can support a friend who wants to leave by respecting their boundary without guilt, helping them secure a trusted ride, and ensuring they reach their destination safely. Checking in on them as they leave or offering to walk them to a designated pick-up spot ensures they do not have to navigate a potentially unsafe transition alone.

Source: RAINN

From the lesson You’re allowed to leave.

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Choosing your own ride ensures you stay in control of your route and safety when you are ready to leave a party.

Source: RAINN

From the lesson Leaving a situation

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You can clearly state your choice to leave by saying, "I am heading out. Can you help me get home?"

Source: RAINN

From the lesson Leaving a situation

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You may leave even when your friends want to stay, so long as you inform a trusted person and secure your own ride.

Source: RAINN

From the lesson Leaving a situation

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Staying against your wishes can place you in an uncomfortable situation, whereas leaving when ready protects your safety and well-being.

Source: RAINN

From the lesson Leaving a situation

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You can support a friend who wants to leave by helping them arrange a reliable ride and ensuring they head out safely.

Source: RAINN

From the lesson Leaving a situation

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Staying with your group keeps you surrounded by trusted friends who can support you and help deter potential harm.

Source: RAINN

From the lesson Isolation pressure

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You can firmly say "I am staying with my friends" to set a clear boundary without needing to explain yourself further.

Source: RAINN

From the lesson Isolation pressure

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If someone continues to pressure you after you decline, refuse to leave, step closer to your friends, or ask your group to help you step away.

Source: RAINN

From the lesson Isolation pressure

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Do not agree to go alone just to avoid feeling rude, because your personal safety and comfort always matter more than pleasing someone else.

Source: RAINN

From the lesson Isolation pressure

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You can support a friend by stepping in, interrupting the conversation, and giving them an easy reason to stay with the group.

Source: RAINN

From the lesson Isolation pressure

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Interrupt the situation by creating a simple distraction to give your friend an easy way to step away safely. You can walk up to your friend and say, "Come with me for a minute," or ask her privately if she wants to move to another space. Check in with her to see what support she wants, and avoid direct confrontation if it feels unsafe. If the person becomes angry or follows you, find campus staff or security to help immediately. Never record or post videos of someone experiencing distress.

Source: Right To Be

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Using a distraction creates a quick exit for your friend without initiating a direct confrontation with the person crowding them. Interrupting the situation with a neutral request takes the focus off your friend and gives them a safe reason to step away immediately. This approach lowers the risk of hostility while prioritizing your friend's immediate safety.

Source: Right To Be

From the lesson Be the friend who notices.

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You can say, "Come help me for a minute" or "Come with me for a minute" to give your friend a smooth excuse to walk away. Using a casual, direct phrase allows your friend to leave the uncomfortable situation without needing to explain themselves or confront the person crowding them.

Source: Right To Be

From the lesson Be the friend who notices.

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Ask venue staff or someone nearby for assistance if interrupting directly feels unsafe or does not work. You can also create a different distraction or seek help from people around you to ensure your friend gets the support they need without putting yourself in danger.

Source: Right To Be

From the lesson Be the friend who notices.

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You should not post recordings of someone's distress because publishing their experience without permission violates their privacy and does not provide immediate help. Prioritize giving your friend direct support or getting assistance rather than recording the event for social media.

Source: Right To Be

From the lesson Be the friend who notices.

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Check in with your friend immediately after stepping away to ask what they need and ensure they feel safe. Listen to what they want to do next, respect their decisions, and help them find further assistance or leave the venue if that is what they prefer.

Source: Right To Be

From the lesson Be the friend who notices.

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Getting staff or security keeps you and your friend safe while letting trained personnel handle a situation that could escalate into violence.

Source: Right To Be

From the lesson Be the friend who notices.

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If staff or security are not immediately visible, you can create a distraction, move toward a well-lit populated area, or call 911 if you are in immediate danger.

Source: Right To Be

From the lesson Be the friend who notices.

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You should avoid challenging or arguing with the angry person, and you should never post recordings of someone's distress online.

Source: Right To Be

From the lesson Be the friend who notices.

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You can support your friend by staying near them, checking in on how they are feeling, and prioritizing their physical and emotional safety after the incident.

Source: Right To Be

From the lesson Be the friend who notices.

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Direct confrontation can escalate the situation and put you or your friend in greater danger. Asking her privately allows you to offer support and give her an easy way to walk away without creating an immediate argument or scene.

Source: Right To Be

From the lesson Bystander support

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You can walk up and give her a simple, friendly excuse to step away, such as asking, "Do you want to come over here with me?" This phrase lets her easily excuse herself from the conversation if she feels uncomfortable.

Source: Right To Be

From the lesson Bystander support

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You can ask venue staff, hosts, or other nearby people to assist you, or create a simple distraction to break up the interaction. You should always assess your personal safety before deciding how to intervene.

Source: Right To Be

From the lesson Bystander support

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You should not post recordings online because publicizing the moment violates the privacy of the person being crowded and can make the situation unsafe for them. Always get the person's explicit permission before sharing any photos or documentation of an incident.

Source: Right To Be

From the lesson Bystander support

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You can check in with her privately to see how she is feeling and ask what support she wants from you moving forward. Respecting her choices helps her regain control after an uncomfortable experience.

Source: Right To Be

From the lesson Bystander support

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You can stop explaining yourself and immediately move toward your friends, campus staff, or an exit. Repeated pressure after a clear refusal is a warning sign that you do not need to negotiate with. Freezing when you feel overwhelmed is a normal response and not a personal failure. Pausing allows you to choose one concrete next step, such as saying "No, I am done, I am leaving" and stepping away to a safer space.

Source: RAINN

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Stepping away gives you a chance to pause the conversation, gather your thoughts, and find a safer, supportive environment when you feel overwhelmed. Taking a break removes you from an escalating situation and allows you to reconnect with someone you trust rather than feeling forced to react in the heat of the moment [1].

Source: One Love

From the lesson Find your next small step.

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You can say, "I need a minute. I’m stepping away," to pause the conversation immediately. Using a clear, direct phrase lets others know you are exiting the situation without needing to justify or prolong the disagreement [1].

Source: One Love

From the lesson Find your next small step.

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If you freeze during an argument, remember that freezing is a normal reaction and not a personal failure. You can take a moment to notice a trusted helper or a clear exit path, and then take one small, concrete step to move toward a calmer space when you are ready [1].

Source: One Love

From the lesson Find your next small step.

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You should not force yourself to stay and argue because trying to resolve a heated disagreement while your thoughts are racing usually escalates stress rather than creating calm. Staying in a hostile moment is not required, and you do not need to feel completely calm before deciding to step away [1].

Source: One Love

From the lesson Find your next small step.

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You can help a friend after a tense moment by offering them a quiet, supportive space and letting them process what happened without pressure. Sitting with them in a calmer spot helps reassure them that pausing an uncomfortable situation was the right choice [1].

Source: One Love

From the lesson Find your next small step.

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Asking a friend to stay gives you immediate support so you can focus on taking one manageable next action instead of trying to solve everything at once.

Source: One Love

From the lesson Find your next small step.

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You can step away by simply saying, "I need a minute. I’m stepping away."

Source: One Love

From the lesson Find your next small step.

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You should remember that freezing is not a failure, then focus on finding a helper or an exit to take one concrete step.

Source: One Love

From the lesson Find your next small step.

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Returning alone right away can keep you in an overwhelming position, whereas waiting or choosing to bring support allows you to reset before deciding how to proceed.

Source: One Love

From the lesson Find your next small step.

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You can support a friend by staying with them while they pause, identify an exit, and decide on their next step.

Source: One Love

From the lesson Find your next small step.

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Call 911 immediately and stay with your friend until medical help arrives. Do not wait for all symptoms to appear or assume they can sleep it off. Home remedies like coffee or cold showers will not reverse an overdose. If they are unconscious but breathing, roll them onto their side and follow the dispatcher instructions.

Sources: NIH / NIAAA, NIH / NIAAA

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Staying with your friend keeps her safe because her symptoms can worsen quickly and leaving her alone puts her at risk of severe harm or medical complications. An impaired person's condition can deteriorate without warning, so remaining by her side allows you to monitor her safety and get emergency responders to her immediately if she stops responding.

Source: NIH / NIAAA

From the lesson Something feels wrong.

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You can support your friend by plainly stating, "Something feels wrong. Stay with me." Speaking in a calm, clear voice helps reassure her that she is not alone while you assess her condition and arrange for prompt medical assistance.

Source: NIH / NIAAA

From the lesson Something feels wrong.

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Call 911 immediately if your friend cannot be awakened, has a seizure, or develops slow or irregular breathing. Do not wait for symptoms to clear on their own or delay seeking emergency medical care when someone shows severe signs of physical distress.

Source: NIH / NIAAA

From the lesson Something feels wrong.

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Help your friend by telling the responding medical team everything you noticed, including if you suspect her drink was spiked or if her reaction was unusual for the amount consumed. Informing healthcare providers about the timeline and symptoms gives them the crucial details needed to treat her safely and effectively.

Source: NIH / NIAAA

From the lesson Something feels wrong.

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Calling 911 immediately ensures that trained medical professionals can respond right away to life-threatening signs of alcohol poisoning or medical distress, such as unconsciousness and irregular breathing. Waiting for symptoms to clear or assuming someone will sleep it off can lead to severe harm or death. Getting emergency responders on the phone also allows the dispatcher to give you real-time instructions on how to handle breathing issues or provide CPR until help arrives.

Source: NIH / NIAAA

From the lesson Something feels wrong.

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You can say, "I need an ambulance because my friend cannot be awakened and her breathing is irregular." State your location clearly and describe exactly what you see without worrying about having precise medical terms. The dispatcher will ask specific questions to guide you and tell you what physical steps to take next while help is on the way.

Source: NIH / NIAAA

From the lesson Something feels wrong.

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If your friend is unconscious but breathing, carefully roll her onto her side into the recovery position so she does not choke if she vomits. Stay right next to her to continuously monitor her breathing and stay on the line with the 911 dispatcher until emergency personnel walk through the door.

Source: NIH / NIAAA

From the lesson Something feels wrong.

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You should never leave an unconscious person alone to sleep it off, give them a cold shower, or try to force them to eat or drink. These common missteps do not reverse an overdose and can lead to dangerous outcomes like choking, hypothermia, or delayed medical care.

Source: NIH / NIAAA

From the lesson Something feels wrong.

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You can help a friend after a emergency by staying supportive, avoiding judgment, and encouraging them to follow up with campus health or professional medical resources. Simply reassuring them with words like "Something feels wrong, stay with me" during the event and checking in on their physical and emotional well-being afterward helps them process what happened safely.

Source: NIH / NIAAA

From the lesson Something feels wrong.

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Getting immediate medical care protects your safety and ensures severe symptoms are treated before they worsen. Medical professionals can monitor vital signs, treat sudden impairment, and perform time-sensitive testing if you suspect drink tampering, so you should never wait for proof before seeking help.

Source: RAINN

From the lesson Suspected tampering

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You can ask for immediate assistance by saying clearly, "I feel unexpectedly unwell. Please stay with me and help me get medical care." Using direct words alerts your friend that you need urgent support and ensures you are not left alone while getting medical attention.

Source: RAINN

From the lesson Suspected tampering

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Call emergency services immediately if your friend shows severe symptoms or rapidly loses consciousness. While waiting for paramedics to arrive, stay by your friend's side to keep them safe and ensure they are not left unattended.

Source: RAINN

From the lesson Suspected tampering

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Waiting to see if symptoms pass is dangerous because substances used in drink tampering can rapidly impair your physical control and consciousness. Delaying medical care increases safety risks and allows time-sensitive evidence or toxicological markers to leave your system.

Source: RAINN

From the lesson Suspected tampering

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You can support a friend by staying with them in a safe environment and helping them access medical care or confidential support resources. Believing their experience and helping them navigate ongoing healthcare options ensures they receive compassionate care without feeling blamed.

Source: RAINN

From the lesson Suspected tampering

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Do not pay the person or send more photos if someone threatens to share your private images. Giving in to demands does not guarantee they will delete your photos or stop contacting you. Instead, pause contact and do not reply. Save screenshots of the threats, account details, and links if you can do so safely. Use platform reporting tools to flag the account. Remember that sharing an image in the past never gives anyone the right to threaten or exploit you.

Sources: Cyber Civil Rights Initiative, Cyber Civil Rights Initiative

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Stopping replies or blocking them protects your personal boundaries and safety because you do not owe anyone images, your location, or a private meeting. Continuing to engage after you already said no can invite further pressure, whereas cutting off communication reinforces your decision without putting you in a vulnerable situation.

Source: One Love

From the lesson Online pressure

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You can send a direct statement such as "I said no. I am not coming over." Stating your boundary clearly and plainly leaves no room for confusion, helping you end the conversation without needing to explain yourself or make excuses.

Source: One Love

From the lesson Online pressure

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If you choose to meet, use a public place, arrange your own transportation, and set up a trusted check-in with a friend. Meeting in a public setting rather than a private space helps ensure you remain in control of your environment and can leave safely whenever you choose.

Source: One Love

From the lesson Online pressure

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You can talk privately about your options with a trusted friend, counselor, or staff member using a device your partner cannot access. Jealousy does not justify a partner controlling your friendships, privacy, or movements. You deserve time with your friends and full control over your location information. Avoid confronting your partner if you worry it could make you less safe. If you want to talk to someone you trust, you can say, "Can we talk privately? I need help thinking through my options."

Sources: One Love, Love is respect

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Create a tailored emergency plan by identifying your specific barriers, choosing trusted helpers, and deciding how you will communicate, shelter, or evacuate during an emergency.

Sources: American Red Cross, CDC, CDC

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You can support a friend by listening attentively without judgment, acknowledging their disclosure, and respecting their choices about what to do next. Avoid asking intrusive questions or pressuring them into taking specific actions. Offer assistance and prepare support resources so they know options are available when they are ready.

Sources: RAINN, RAINN, NSVRC

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First ask if your student is in immediate danger, then focus entirely on arranging a safe ride without demanding explanations about what happened. If they face an emergency or need medical help, instruct them to call 911 immediately. Save questions for later because making help conditional or threatening punishment can push a student to stay in an unsafe situation. Agree on a well-lit spot where they can wait safely, and stay on the line or keep your phone active until they arrive.

Sources: The Jed Foundation, NIH / NIAAA

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Say "No. I'm done. I'm leaving." and immediately step away toward your friends, campus staff, or an exit. Repeated pressure after a refusal is a warning sign, and you do not need to keep negotiating or explaining your decision. Consent is ongoing for every activity, which means an earlier yes does not cover other touch and you can change your mind at any time.

Sources: It’s On Us, Love is respect

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Keep the public meeting you agreed to, suggest another public space, or cancel the date entirely. A match who pressures you to abandon a public space for a private one is giving you important information about how they respond to boundaries. You never owe anyone a private meeting. If you still choose to go out, arrange transportation you control and let a trusted friend know your plan.

Sources: RAINN, Bumble, Tinder

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Tell your match clearly that you will meet them at the public location and drive yourself. You can say, "No thanks, I'll meet you there. I prefer to drive myself." Keep your address private when meeting someone new for the first time. Arranging your own ride ensures you retain control over your own transportation and exit option.

Sources: RAINN, Tinder

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Yes, a match who pressures you to let them pick you up after you said no is showing how they handle boundaries. You do not owe anyone your location or address. You can choose to stick with the public meeting, suggest a different public place, or cancel the date if you feel uncomfortable.

Sources: One Love, RAINN, Tinder

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