Answering a Late Night Call: talking with parents lesson

You are at home asleep when your phone rings at midnight. It is your college student, sounding anxious and saying they need to leave a party right away.

Your student sounds stressed and says they just want to get to a safe spot, but they do not want to talk about what happened. You want to make sure they get back safely without making them feel judged or trapped.

What is the best way to respond to their call?

• Ask if they are in immediate danger, then focus entirely on arranging a safe ride.
• Tell them you will order a rideshare only after they explain exactly what happened.
• Warn them they will lose privileges if they do not explain themselves right now.

Recommended

Ask if they are in immediate danger, then focus entirely on arranging a safe ride.

When your student calls for a ride, check if they are in immediate danger or need medical help first. If they do, tell them to call 911. Otherwise, focus solely on getting them a dependable ride and finding a safe place for them to wait. Save any questions about what happened for later. Making your help conditional on an explanation or threatening punishment can push them to stay in an unsafe environment.

Your next step

Agree on a safe, well-lit spot where your student can wait for the ride, and keep your phone active until they arrive.

Words you can use

“Tell me where you are. We'll work out a ride.”

Sources: RAINN, JED Mental Health Resource Center