Setting the scene
Lessons on saying no and setting boundaries
Spotting pressure after a no: boundaries lesson
Real moments. A few choices. Words that work.
State your boundary one last time and walk toward a group of friends or a staff member. Practice the moment in a short Surefoot lesson.
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You are hanging out in the common room of your residence hall. A student you barely know keeps asking you to come over to their room, even though you have already said no twice.
You notice several things happening around you as you try to relax in the common room.
Which of these is a warning sign that you should end the conversation and walk away?
- They keep asking you to come over and suggest you are being rude for saying no.
- A student nearby is wearing headphones and studying at a corner table.
- The person asking you to hang out checks their phone when it buzzes.
- Another group of students is laughing while playing a board game nearby.
Recommended
They keep asking you to come over and suggest you are being rude for saying no.
Repeated pressure after a refusal matters. When someone ignores your boundary and continues to push, you do not need to keep explaining yourself or trying to be polite. You can stop the conversation immediately and move toward friends, staff, or an exit to keep yourself safe.
Your next step
State your boundary one last time and walk toward a group of friends or a staff member.
Words you can use
“No. I'm done. I'm leaving.”
Sources: RAINN