Setting the scene
Respecting First Meeting Plans: dating lesson
Real moments. A few choices. Words that work.
Keep the public meeting you agreed to, suggest another public space, or cancel the date. Practice the moment in a short Surefoot lesson.
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Your next step
Words you can use
Add a ride option to my planListen
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Transcript
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You matched with someone on a dating app and agreed to meet at a local coffee shop. Right before you are about to leave your dorm, they send you a message asking to change the plan.
You open the chat and read their latest messages to see if they are still on for the coffee shop.
Which of these messages is a warning sign that they do not respect your boundaries?
- "Hey, I'm running about ten minutes late, sorry!"
- "Actually, skip the cafe. Just come straight to my apartment instead."
- "Can we meet at the diner next door instead? The cafe is really packed."
Recommended
"Actually, skip the cafe. Just come straight to my apartment instead."
A match who pressures you to abandon a public meeting for a private space is giving you important information about how they respond to boundaries. You do not owe anyone a private meeting. You can choose to keep the public meeting you agreed to, suggest another public space, or cancel entirely. If you choose to meet, always arrange transport you control and let a trusted friend know your plan.
Your next step
Keep the public meeting you agreed to, suggest another public space, or cancel the date.
Words you can use
“I'm only meeting somewhere public.”
Sources: One Love, Love is respect